By Kevin Howell
As I was flipping through the radio the other day, trying to find the right sound for my mood, I noticed from station to station everyone was singing about the same thing — love and relationships. Obviously this was no epiphany, most genres of music primarily deal with those themes; however, I wasn’t in the mood to hear “Oh my gosh, I’m so in love,” nor anything Trey Songz, Katy Perry, or Adam Lambert had to offer. As Ithought about it,music from as far back as I can remember has always been about love and relationships. It sort of makes sense because, in essence, life is about relationships; therefore, every form of entertainment — be it movies, television, music, or theater — usually involves a romantic relationship in its expression. It’s part of the artistic formula because we all can relate to it. There are certain elements of storytelling that work and connect with the audience, so you have to stick to them, and love and romance is one of those elements…OK, it’s the primary element.
You have to admit though, it has become pretty excessive, and when there’s excess, there’s little creativity. Seriously, how many ways can you present the same theme? It’s just packaged differently — Alicia Keys for the urban-soul crowd, Carrie Underwood for the country folks, Justin Bieber for the teeny-boppers — but they’re all saying the same thing. Not that there’s anything wrong with love songs, but the music that resonates most is that which transcends convention. Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Going On?” is far more celebrated than “Let’s Get it On” (well, artistically speaking, not sensually). Just look at the most recent winners for Song or Record of the Year at the Grammys: Kings of Leon’s Use Somebody in 2010, Coldplay’s Viva la Vida in ’09, Amy Winehouse’s Rehab in ’08, and The Dixie Chicks’ Not Ready to Make Nice in ’07. These songs explore themes outside of love clichés. The fact that it’s easy to make a song about love or relationships is symbolic of our culture’s casual approach to the same. Love is something we try then ditch when it gets difficult, complicated, stressful, boring, or too demanding. As easily as we flip through the slow jams on our iPods, our society moves from relationship to relationship looking for a love better than the previous one. Yet we can’t find real love when our concept of a relationship is based on a Mary J. Blige song.
Though art does imitate life, it rarely presents a balanced depiction of the multifaceted nature of love. So we’re inundated with shallow, fairy tale-like expressions of romance that tickle our emotions and leave us with unrealistic expectations for relationships. Now of course as adults we’re supposed to be sound enough to separate real life from what Ne-Yo sings about, but when you hear the same thing constantly, it starts to affect you. Not only can it distort our concept of love, but it can also bait us into discontent if we’re not involved with someone. For the most part I don’t listen to much R&B (or even some pop music) for those reasons. Being single, if I listen to these types of songs regularly they plant seeds of discontent in my emotions. Inevitably, it stirs up feelings of loneliness, lust, and envy as I develop an unhealthy desire for something that I lack. Granted, though I naturally desire a relationship, it’s not something that consumes my thoughts. Contrary to the famous line from Jerry McGuire, no one “completes me.” God has already made me whole.
This is not a knock on artistic expression, nor a call for more creativity from the music industry (though that would be appreciated). It’s simply an observation that the love that’s pushed through the airwaves is a fabrication. Love is not an emotion – it’s a decision, it’s a commitment, it’s a process. It’s nothing you fall into and fall out of…you grow into love. So no matter how many times you hear “Crazy in Love,” “You Belong to Me,” or “There Goes My Baby,” realize it’s just another sad attempt at a love song.
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